I pulled an all-nighter last night cramming for this debate today. I passed out around 4:30 am and just woke up in my underpants to the smell of stale Domino’s pizza and Jolt cola. Cindy’s gonna pitch a goddam fit and call me a glutten if I dont clean this mess up.
Anyways, I’m feeling pretty good about this one. I didn’t have time to read a lot of economic stuff, but I did watch Wall Street (great flick) and played some on-line poker to get me into the money mindset. Oh, and then at 1 am Shawshank Redemption was on TBS so I ended up watching that. I’m pretty sure I bought the Abdomizer at some point too, which should answer any concerns about my health.
Time to get dressed and then a quick fix at the ‘Bucks (Starbucks) for my cuppa and then on to this debate. Look out Obama, I’m coming for you - Blue Horseshoe loves Annicott Steel!
OK, Obama. Hear me out. You don’t know jack about being in the military and I do. I didn’t graduate 5th from the bottom of my class to play Stratego at the Shady Acres retirement home. I’m here to wage some wars goddamit. Just like my dad and his dad before him - this war stuff is in my blood.
So here’s the dilly - you can be President and I’ll be Commander in Chief. You’re good with all that people and economic stuff and I couldn’t give 2 metamucil-powered craps about that. Half the time I dont even know why I’m running. So let’s save everyone’s time here and get this done. Give me some soldiers to command. I already got a list of 17 countries who are just asking to get their asses kicked. So, what do you say?
I missed his birthday last week, but I wanted to wish Barack Obama’s minister of 20 years Reverend Jeremiah Wright a happy 67th birthday.
I’ve never met the Reverend, but I do owe him a special thanks. Like me, you’re not showing signs of slowing as we hit “middle age”; here’s hoping I see another sermon (or two) from you on TV / YouTube between now and the election.
Happy Birthday!
Saw this today on Yahoo Finance. Mind you, this is not a political ad or anything my campaign had to fund. Funny how there aren’t ads about McCain proofing your portfolio. Don’t worry people - I’ll take care of your portfolios and I’m doing what I can to salvage Wall Street.
I will say this - the only thing you might want to McCain proof is your refridgerator after midnight - when I get a hankerin’ for something - there ain’t no stopping me!!
OK- so here we are. The US economy is about to go through the worst patch in like forever. Who do you want by your side? Someone who lived through the ‘29 depression (me) or someone who’s father wasn’t even born in ‘29 (the other guy)?
I’ve been around the block my friends. I know what its going to take to weather this storm. It’s a giant storm the likes of which we’ve never seen before. Picture a blender. Then put in the blender Hurricane Katrina, a typhoon, and a volcanic eruption, the blender is set to puree. The lid to the blender is nowhere to be found and you can’t turn the blender off and hitting the other buttons isn’t helping and the whole thing is a complete mess and the storms are spewing out the top and we’re all getting sprayed with gobs of hot volcanic lava and boiling hot rain and 130 mph winds. We’re all coated in this stuff. We’re all going to get impacted. All of us. It is going to get very ugly very quickly.
Who do you want by your side? Some smooth talking wet behind the ears kid (the other guy) or some wizened old man, hardened by time, mildly unattractive and slightly creepy (me)?
